Characters

Narrators

A, B, and C
Three High School Students

ADA
Ada, Countess of Lovelace

MUSICIANS 1, 2, and 3
Three Musicians from the Orchestra

WIKIPEDIA

Choir

Libretto

A
Ada who?

B
Ada Lovelace.

C
She loves lace? What lace?

B
No, Ada Lovelace.

A
Who’s Ada Lovelace?

CHOIR
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
There’s a question for us all.
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Her name is on a wall.
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Anyone here know who?
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
Who’s Ada Lovelace?
They’ve got a project to do.

A
Wikipedia will tell us.

B
Wikipedia will tell us what?

C
Wikipedia will tell us this:

WIKIPEDIA
“Ada Lovelace was an English mathematician and writer, chiefly known for her work on Charles Babbage's proposed mechanical general-purpose computer, the Analytical Engine. She is believed by some to be the first to recognise that the machine had applications beyond pure calculation, and to have published the first algorithm intended to be carried out by such a machine. As a result, she is often regarded as the first to recognise the full potential of computers and as one of the first computer programmers."

B
It says here she lived in Ealing.

C
Where?

A
Hanger Lane.

C
The Hanger Lane gyratory?

B
My mum had a friend called Ada and she lived by Ealing Broadway Station.

A
Hanger Lane House. And Fordbrook House.

C
On her own?

B
With her mother, Lady Byron.

C
Where was her father?

CHOIR
Where was her father?
Who was he?
Where was Ada’s father?
Had he gone to sea?

Who was her father?
Is he someone we know?
Where was her father?
And why did he go?

B
Lord Byron. Her dad was Lord Byron.

A
Are you going to look him up on Wikipedia too?

WIKIPEDIA
Don’t. My bit on Lord Byron is much too long. Just say, he was a poet. And you know about them… they go on and on and on and on and —

C
Did she ever meet him?

B
No, it says here — not Wikipedia, he died in Greece when she was eight.

A
Still, she had her mother.

B
Kind of.

C
What does that mean?

B
It says here that she was…

ADA
“Mostly brought up by my grandmother…”

A, B, C
What’s that? Who said that? Where did that come from?

ADA
It’s me. Ada.
You said I was the forerunner to computer programming. You’re right. I’m in the computer.

CHOIR
She’s in the computer.
Does it really suit’er?
to be in the computer?
She looks like a TV drama
surveying the panorama
like a noble lady farmer
a landscape, a view
not doing zoom
or anything so new…

A
This is well weird, man.

ADA
…and you called me up.

B
I did?

ADA
Algorithms, young lady. You used the right algorithm and here I am. Now what?

A
Can you do our project for us?

ADA
That would be cheating.

B
Just a few details?

ADA
Have you got that bit about how I got the measles?

C
No.

ADA
I was so sick with it, I became paralysed.

A
Did your mum love you?

ADA
[Silence]

A
Did she?

ADA
I don’t know. I found a letter she sent to my grandmother and she called me ‘it’.

B
That’s bad, man. That’s seriously bad.

CHOIR
Did anyone love this little girl?
Did anyone really care?
Did anyone give her hugs and kisses?
Did anyone stroke her hair?

ADA
Never mind me, now I’m here I want to know things. I’ve always wanted to know things. I want to know about Ealing.
What’s been happening in Ealing since I’ve been gone.

CHOIR
She’s got nowhere to go
Now she wants to know
She’s got a curious feeling:
She wants to know about…

Ealing!
Ealing the place
Ealing the town
Ealing the space
Ealing all round.

What’s happened since she’s been away?
What’s happened ‘tween then and today?
All of you here can make suggestions
All of you here can answer these questions.

Ealing!
Ealing the place
Ealing the town
Ealing the space
Ealing all round.

What’s happened since she’s been away?
What’s happened ‘tween then and today?
We’re sure you know it of course
we don’t go round Ealing on a horse

We can travel how we like
we can go on foot or by bike
Whether in sun or in rain
we go by car, bus or train.

CHOIR (spoken)
Do you know about trains, Lady Ada?
Did you see trains or were they later?
You’ve never seen things so fast
(Though they said they’d never last)
There was shock and consternation
when they built the Ealing Station

Never mind the trains, what about the tracks?
Us, in our gangs with our spades and our packs
digging every inch, every foot, every yard
Back-breaking work, you can bet it was hard

The hacking and the digging
shovelling and tipping
hammering and drilling
flattening and filling

Who did the pushing and the pulling
all the winding and the wheeling?
It was us, we’re the navvies
who brought the trains to Ealing.

The hacking and the digging
shovelling and tipping
hammering and drilling
flattening and filling.

Great Western Main Line
Piccadilly Line
Central Line
District Line

Ealing Broadway, Ealing Common, North Ealing
Park Royal, Hanger Lane, South Ealing
Two more: Northfields, West Ealing

Acton Main Line, Acton Town
Boston Manor, Sudbury Town

Drayton Green, Castle Bar Park
Ealing Broadway, Northholt Park
Ealing Common, Chiswick Park

Sudbury Hill, South Greenford
Southall, Greenford

Hanger Lane, Hanwell, South Acton
Northfields, North Acton
Northolt, West Acton

Park Road, South Ealing
Perivale, West Ealing

WIKIPEDIA
There’s something here about West Ealing station (originally called Castle Hill) — It’s about an alien invasion from “War of the Worlds” by HG Wells — Chapter 16 The Exodus:

“So you understand the roaring wave of fear that swept through the greatest city in the world just as Monday was dawning—the stream of flight rising swiftly to a torrent, lashing in a foaming tumult round the railway stations, banked up into a horrible struggle about the shipping in the Thames, and hurrying by every available channel northward and eastward. By ten o'clock the police organisation, and by midday even the railway organisations, were losing coherency, losing shape and efficiency, guttering, softening, running at last in that swift liquefaction of the social body.

“People were fighting savagely
People were being trampled and crushed
Revolvers were fired
People stabbed
Exhausted and infuriated
An ever-thickening multitude

“By midday a Martian had been seen at Barnes, and a cloud of slowly sinking black vapour drove along the Thames and across the flats of Lambeth, cutting off all escape over the bridges in its sluggish advance. Another bank drove over Ealing, and surrounded a little island of survivors on Castle Hill, alive, but unable to escape.”

ADA
Did that happen?

A
It was a story.

B
Everything’s a story.

C
Maths isn’t a story.

ADA
Isn’t it?

[Melody of Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘Modern Major-General’ ]

ADA
What’s that?

A
What’s what?

ADA
What’s that music?

B
What music?

ADA
That music.

C
Oh, that music. Why didn’t you say?

A
That’s a song about maths.

B
We have to do a lot about maths.

ADA
That’s good. I love maths.
I’m very good at maths.
But why are we doing a song about maths?

A
It’s written by Gilbert.

ADA
Gilbert who?

C
Sullivan and Gilbert.

A
Gilbert and Sullivan.

ADA
But why Gilbert and Sullivan?

A
Don’t you like the music?

ADA
I do, but why here? Why now?

B
Because WS Gilbert went to the Great Ealing School where he became head boy and wrote plays for school performances.

WIKIPEDIA
And painted scenery.

A
And painted scenery

B
And painted scenery

C
And painted scenery.

ADA
That’s a lot of scenery he painted.

A (rapped)
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

CHOIR, A (rapped)
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ADA
I’m liking that. Cool.

A
Did people in her day, say ‘cool’?

B
Obviously.

A
Are you really good at Maths?

ADA
Terrific.

A
Well I’ve got some homework here I need help with.

B
Not now, we’ve got a show to do. There are hundreds of people out there listening,

A
OKaaaaaayyyy [fed up]

ADA
Yes, I want to know who’s living in Ealing? And shopping. What happens if I want to go shopping near to where I lived in Hanger Hill.

A
Well, let’s go to the…

A, B, C
…The Hanger Lane Gyratory

CHOIR
Chorus
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
It used to be a roundabout
but that they went and thought about
that they went and thought about
it turned out and came about
much soonery than latery
as the Hanger Lane Gyratory
Hanger Lane Gyratory

Verse 1
This is a place where you have to stop
This is a place where you have to shop
A place that is packed full of variety
A place you find multicultural society

You can take your car and park it
For Kopernik, Polish supermarket

One of the finest to be seen:
Is Beluga, for Persian Cuisine

Chorus
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
It used to be a roundabout
but that they went and thought about
that they went and thought about
it turned out and came about
much soonery than latery
as the Hanger Lane Gyratory
Hanger Lane Gyratory

Verse 2
Nearby you’ll see there sits
The Kosher Butcher, Lipowicz

It’s no problem to be sincere
And recommend Palm Pizzeria

We also advise with ease
The coffee shop — Gourmandise

Are you into decoration styles?
For you there’s Amirco Tiles

Verse 3
Another shop in this vicinity
Goes by the name of Infinity
It’s for bikers and all they love:
helmets, boots’n’motorbike gloves

Nearby too, in less than a mile:
Get a phone at Labara mobile!

We could tell you many more
Because there are shops galore
There they sit in sun and rain
The shops and cafes of Hanger Lane.

Chorus
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
The Hanger Lane Gyratory
It used to be a roundabout
but that they went and thought about
that they went and thought about
it turned out and came about
much soonery than latery
as the Hanger Lane Gyratory
Hanger Lane Gyratory (x3)

ADA
Are there any parks left in Ealing or has it all been built over?

A
Oh we’ve got parks.

B
Loads of them.

C
Charlie Chaplin is in one of them.

ADA
Who’s Charlie Chaplin?

A
I don’t know, but he went to school in Ealing as well.

ADA
My mother set up a school in Ealing.

B
Did you go there?

ADA
No. It was a boys’ school.

A
What did they do there?

ADA
Writing. Sums. And they did three hours gardening every day.

A, B, C
What?!

ADA
Three hours gardening every day.

A
I know about a garden. It’s in Walpole Park. The Windrush Garden

ADA
The Windrush Garden?

CHOIR
Verse 1
I am the ship the Empire Windrush
I lie battered on the ocean floor
You may have heard of Windrush
But there’s much you’ve not heard before

My life begins in 1930
A German ship, Monte Rosa by name
The Nazis hired me to do their work
I live with that everlasting shame.

When they invaded the country of Norway
I was one of the ships they used
When they rounded up innocent people
They used me to deport Jews.

They forced them on board in Norway
And it was in Denmark that I Arrived
Sent them there to Auschwitz
None but a handful survived.

Chorus
Monte Rosa Empire Windrush (x4)

Verse 2
I docked in Kingston in Jamaica
I picked up Caribbean people that day
I ferried them across the Atlantic
And brought them here to stay.

Verse 3
Some had fought for Britain in the war
Some now worked on building sites
Some worked as drivers or teachers
Nurses working days and by nights.

They came as citizens of Great Britain
With every right in the book to stay
Them and the children too
But it didn’t work out that way

Chorus
Monte Rosa Empire Windrush (x4)

Verse 4
So now my name is known
People talk of the Windrush scandal
Because of what has happened to people
And how the matter’s been handled.

It’s been on TV and in the papers
You may have seen it reported
The truth of the matter is this
People were wrongfully deported

Now I’ve told you my part in history
you may wonder what’s happened to me
There was a fire on board near Spain
And I sank to the bottom of the sea

Verse 5
My decks are encrusted with rust
Fish swim past in the dark
My name lives on as ‘Windrush Garden’
In a corner of Walpole Park

Chorus
Monte Rosa Empire Windrush (x4)

ADA
I didn’t know any of that. Thank you.

A
We know loads of things, don’t we?

B
Sure.

ADA
Are there new tastes you could tell me about.

C
Well they’re not exactly new. They’ve been in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh for…

A
for hundreds of years

B
for thousands of years.

A
forever…

ADA
And they’re in Ealing?

A
Of course.

CHOIR
Chorus
Southall, Southall,
Southall, Southall
Come and buy fenugreek,
come buy galangal

Verse
Lemon grass, Jeera, nutmeg, mustard seed
Cassia, ginger, turmeric and cinnamon
Methi leaves, saffron, chili and cloves
Golden needles, paprika, mace’n’cardamon.

A
Do you like music?

ADA
I love it.

B
It’s not very mathematical.

ADA
But it is. Music is full of numbers: beats, time signatures, rhythms, bars, quavers, crotchets, breves, octaves…

B
OK.

[Musicians start to play a twelve-bar Blues]

ADA
What’s that?

MUSICIAN 1
You said music is full of numbers. This is a twelve-bar blues.

A
Never mind that, we’ve got to get on and tell Ada about Ealing.

MUSICIAN 2
The twelve-bar blues is very Ealing.

A, B, C
What? Really?

MUSICIAN 3
Have you ever heard of the Rolling Stones.

A
I think my grandad likes them…

CHOIR
Verse 1
Woke up one morning, in April’62
Woke up one morning, in April’62
Feeling kinda’ lonesome, feeling kinda blue

Yeah, they had that lonesome feeling
Oh yeah they had that lonesome feeling
They rode a train to a club they knew in Ealing

Chorus
It was the Ealing Club
It was the Ealing Club
Nowhere higher rated
Blues incorporated
Ealing Club, Ealing Club
The Ealing Club

Verse 2
The club was all of 20 steps down
That club was all of 20 steps down
Rhythm’n’blues made an incredible sound.

Up on stage was Brian Jones
That’s the beginning of the Rolling Stones
Fans jammed in, hardly any room
Brian Jones was doing ‘Dust my Broom’

[Guitar Solo over Chorus below]

Chorus
It was the Ealing Club
It was the Ealing Club
Nowhere higher rated
Blues incorporated
Ealing Club, Ealing Club
The Ealing Club

ADA
Hmmm — twelve bars… and a chorus… that wasn’t twelve bars though.

A
Is that all you think about? Numbers?

ADA
No, I often think about my mum. And the dad I never knew.

B
Was he famous?

ADA
Huge. Massive.

A
Have we heard of him?

ADA
His name was ‘Byron’. Lord Bryon.

B
He sounds like a musician too. What did he play?

ADA
He played with words. He was a poet. And a playwright.

C
What’s that?

ADA
Someone who wrote plays.

A
Oh we’ve got a place for that in Ealing.

ADA
Really?

A
Questors theatre.

B
There’s a youth theatre there.
They do all sorts.
Have you heard of Bugsy Malone?

ADA
No.

B
The Grimm’s fairy tales?

ADA
No

B
Alice Through the Looking Glass? Emil and the Detectives? The Railway Children?

ADA
No.

A
It’s not going very well, is it?

B
The Questors Youth Theatre did all them.

A
Have you heard of William Shakespeare?

ADA
Oh yes.

B
Do you know this one:

CHOIR
Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that does fade,

ADA
Oh yes I remember this. Someone called Ariel sings this to a man who thinks his father may have drowned. It’s a vision. A scene underwater.

A
She knows a lot, doesn’t she?

B
But not Bugsy Malone

CHOIR
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
Hark! Now I hear them — Ding-dong, bell.

ADA
That’s how I remember it… and they sang that at the Questors Theatre?

B
That’s the one.

A
I saw a film of that once.

ADA
What’s film?

A, B, C
You don’t know what film is?

ADA
What is it?

A
You look at it, and it looks like there are people.

B
But they’re not people. They’ve been filmed.

C
That’s why it’s called ‘film’.

ADA
Do people like that?

A
Yes. They’ve loved that for a long time now.

B
Ever since I was young.

C
Longer than that.

A
Some films go back miles longer than you. Some of the most famous films ever, ever, ever were made in Ealing.

ADA
Were they?

C
And TV programmes.

ADA
I won’t ask you what TV programmes are!

B
Dr Who

C
Downton Abbey

C
Notting Hill

A
And Ealing Comedies.

ADA
What are they?

A
The kinds of films that our great-grandparents laughed at.

CHOIR
Verse 1
Granny and Grandad got up to tricks
They went to a place they called ‘the Flicks’
They watched the films that made’em laugh
Anything silly, anything daft

Chorus
Oh the movies they loved
Were terribly appealing
And a load of ’em were made
In studios in Ealing.

Verse 2
For no more money than a couple of ‘bob’
They saw one called ‘The Lavender Hill Mob’
Sometimes they saw ‘comedy thrillers’;
One of them was called ‘The Ladykillers’.

Chorus
Oh the movies they loved
Were terribly appealing
And a load of ’em were made
At the studios in Ealing.

Verse 3
This wasn’t long after the end of the war
So it’s war movies they sometimes saw
A famous one they talked about to me
It went by the name of ‘The Cruel Sea’

Verse 4
People think Ealing Studios closed.
They think the Studios are no more
No-no-no they’re still filming shows
And now it’s — music videos!

Chorus
Oh the movies they loved
Were terribly appealing
And a load of ’em were made
At the studios in Ealing.

ADA
Well, thank you very much for that…

A
Don’t go. We’re really enjoying telling you about all this.

ADA
I have to. You know what they say, if I stay too long, I’ll turn into a pumpkin.

B
One more thing we can show you.

C
What’s that?

B
You know.

C
I don’t.

B
The plaque.

C
What’s a plaque?

B
A thing on the wall.

C
Why does she want to see that?

B
Because her name’s on it.

ADA
I’m on the wall?

B
Yes, come with us to Station Parade…
On the wall there’s a plaque that says:

WIKIPEDIA
“Ada, Countess of Lovelace
Computer Pioneer
1815-1852
Lived and was married
At Fordhook
Near this site
In 1835”

ADA
Oh,that’s very nice. Who put that up?

B
It says, ‘Ealing Civic Society, Ealing Council.’

ADA
Hmm… 1815–1852… I was 36. The same age as my father, when he died. What a coincidence…

CHOIR
She’s back in the computer
Does it really suit’er?
to be in the computer?
She looks like a TV drama
surveying the panorama

[‘Ealing’ Reprise]

Now she has gone
She wanted to know
She had a curious feeling:
She wanted to know about…

Ealing!
Ealing the place
Ealing the town
Ealing the space
Ealing all round.

All this happened since she’s been away
This happened ‘tween then and today

All of you here have made suggestions
All of you here have answered these questions.

Ealing!
Ealing the place
Ealing the town
Ealing the space
Ealing all round.

What would Ada say right now?
Would she BE amazed at how
we find the world with a keypad?
Would it make our Ada glad?
She would see us with our phones
in our centrally heated homes
in our flats… in our cars
and yet…
the sun's the same — the moon, the stars

Look up, look around,
what's your feeling?
things may change
but it's still Ealing!

END